Returning to the triathlon life… overcoming fear

Greetings. And welcome to… Kelly gets back into shape, 2012 edition. Sigh. A year ago I was in tip-top shape having completed Ironman Wisconsin in 2011. Since then, I’ve taken quite a bit of time off from regular training. I’ve moved, gotten a new job, gone to, and participated in, many beautiful weddings. I’ve hiked and climbed. I learned to snowboard. I did Crossfit for three months… ending in January. I tried Bikram yoga. I went to San Diego, Zion National Park, Yosemite, Tahoe, Chicago, and ICELAND.

Sadly, folks – not much in the way of bike riding, running in that list. Which is okay. It’s good to try new things. Except that I signed up for Ironman Lake Tahoe, Sept 22, 2013. That’s just over twelve months away. Plenty of time to get back to it, but I know that I need to regain some fitness before throwing myself to the training gods come January.

I know I need to do this – I want to be fit – but why am I having such a difficult time making training a priority these days?

I went to the pool yesterday and swam 35 minutes continuously. Probably around a mile, maybe a little less. Gave me some time to think, since I wasn’t counting laps. I recognized that I am scared. I haven’t had this much time off my bike since I bought my first road bike in 2005. Seriously. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I am slow and don’t have much endurance. I am scared to try masters swimming – always have been, but I also know I need coaching and help. I’m scared because I don’t know if my arms are strong enough to go for an hour. I’m scared to get back to Crossfit (which I think really helps me stay uninjured) because I’m so incredibly weak. I’m scared to run with anyone but my buddy Cara, because I know she’s not judging me.

WOW. Fear of failure has stopped me from even starting.

I sure am glad I realized that, because I’m going to try my best to use that fear now to motivate me so that I can be back to a fitness level that turns this training nonsense from uncomfortable work into… uncomfortable FUN and joy.

Now, I don’t want to try to do TOO MUCH at once. Kind of a recipe for injury, fatigue, and generally hating myself. With that in mind, I hope that the following goals are a challenge, but achievable.

Short term goals that need to be made public so I’ll do them:

1. Go to master’s swimming in Alameda at least once next week

2. Use the seven-day free pass at Bladium gym in Alameda within the next two weeks. Fingers-crossed it doesn’t suck. I was spoiled at M2.

3. Starting Monday: write down or take photos of what I eat. Not going to post my diary, but I need to do it. Target: 21 days of diary.

4. Push-ups, sit-ups, and air squats at least three times a week until I restart Crossfit somewhere

Training log:

• Friday – swim, 35 min
• Saturday – one hour ride, mostly hill. DONE. Even did a repeat, despite wanting to vomit
• Sunday – run with either hills, stairs, or intervals. Target 30-60 minutes.

Advertisements

---